balganwall

The changing of the seasons. That can only mean one thing: allergies.

I get some bad congestion for a few weeks; once my lungs have adjusted to the cooler air, I can breathe easy. But now I'm finding some new developments. Such as my nasal passages narrowing and some difficulty drawing in deeper breathes. I'm also yawning more, which at first I attributed to not getting enough rest, but I'm starting to wonder if it's something else.

I hope I'm not developing adult asthma

In any case, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

 Camp NaNoWriMo was the best stretch of writing I've done in a long time. There were more "ugh" passages than those that made me think, "I like what I've written." But the point here is that I've written more of this story, I have a much better idea of how to edit it, and I feel a lot better about the future paths my characters will take.

I'll print it out (130+, double-sided) and store it in a binder. I could edit it on the laptop, but I catch errors better when I see words on actual paper.

When I was younger, I used to dread editing my own work. I was so afraid of seeing what I'd gotten wrong the first time around. But now I'm really looking forward to making this story better.

I kind of disappointed myself with posting three webcomics hours past their due dates (I'm still working on the last one now). But after today, I'll be starting a new updating schedule. Sketch all the pages, then ink and add dialogue, then color and finalize. Then schedule the posts for three days a week.

It's my main project, but the others I've taken on are also important. I've given myself too much; too many irons in the fire, somebody once said to me. On top of that, I want to start MORE projects. Because every minute of free time must be consumed with creativity. Or maybe I'm looking for that one project that's finally going to launch my career and make me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my life.

Is it this webcomic? Maybe this other webcomic? How about this novel I'll have to rewrite? What about this podcast I've yet to record?

*rubs eyes* I just hope that the rest of this month runs smoother. 

I love the Weird Things podcast. I don't often look up the news items they talk about, but this caught my interest.

The Staten Island Ferry Disaster with tentacles a-plenty.

I'm surprised that someone put so much effort into a real sculpture dedicated to a fake event. I'll have to remember it if I ever visit New York City (after prostrating myself in front of the real life Ghostbusters firehouse).

I enjoy going to bookstores. I also hate going to bookstores.

The reason wasn't too clear to me until a few days ago. I'd gone to Barnes & Noble to check out the writing reference section. But I enjoy browsing other sections: romance, graphic novels, general fiction, and children's to name a few. If a cover or name interests me, I'll slide the book off the shelf and turn it around in my hands. Of course, I'll read the synopses to find out what the stories are about, but sometimes feeling a book in my hands helps me imagine actually reading the book and the mindsets or moods I'll have then.

But lately, I've been avoiding doing too much of that. I'll pick up a book, feel uneasy, then replace it. My head feels foggy, I get anxious, and I have to wander around until I inevitably find myself near the writing reference section. Only then will the feelings fade.

I finally figured it out. It's because the other books are finished stories. The kinds of stories I want to write and publish. I'm holding other peoples' successes in my hands, and it's intimidating and depressing.

The reference books would help me achieve success. They're comforting; they're teachers; they know that my works are still in progress, and they're not going to judge.

I know the other books don't judge, but when I hold a fiction book, there's an inner voice saying, "So, what have you done to finish a project?"

It would probably help if my current projects were actual books instead of webcomics, but those were the stories that stood out the most to me. The written stories have been put into brain storage, impatiently waiting for the day I'll drag them out.

I wish I could have had only one project to fret over.

Me: Finally, my weekend has arrived. I do have an appointment tomorrow, but the alarm isn't until 7. I have plenty of time. I'll just relax and settle in...

Brain: oh god we might miss the alarm we have to be aware of it i'll keep waking us up every half hour so we don't miss it

Oh, wow, I looked at the themes again and saw the Starry one. It's so gaudy and cute. I just had to apply it.

Checked out the Discord chats for Imzynauts and Campire. Well, the Campfire development. I'm not much of a back end developer; I know more HTML and CSS than anything. Maybe I can help with the graphics? Or just cheer on the team, provide moral support?

I did get an invitation to the Sapien.me community. Let's see how the beta stage works out. Let's see how any of these work out. I hope something permanent with the Imzy spirit comes along... and stays.